Shredded Pages

Loco

2012-02-10T23:13:00.000-08:00

"Canvas is dead",

i told me the

other day.

"No, an exorcism

is all it needs",

said he to me.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (11/2/2012)

Window

2012-02-05T06:44:00.000-08:00

If time could be in a vial

stored, the dust of memories,

of lips adored...etched in

the mind, like a photograph,

the window without a wall

is only half...

The shoe must try, the elusive

foot to find...the

spectacle without the eye

is forever blind.

Memory of your lips, a photograph...

Window I, wall-less am half.

To you then,this silent serenade,

if love is satin, then parting a blade.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (5/2/2012)

i live in my flesh

2012-01-22T08:20:00.000-08:00

Pry open the

ribcage,the

hinges to the

door of the heart, I

want to see what is

inside of me...

Landscape of my

soul, tethered in

bone and blood, an

idea made flesh.

The body is

just the mirror

for what i feel.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(22/1/2012)

i don't know what to name this poem

2012-01-15T22:36:00.001-08:00

There is a spark,

'tis not a fire still.

The cup is dry yet,

waiting for wine to fill.

The seed's been sowed,

How is there love, otherwise?

The flower will bloom like,

The desire 'tween my thighs.

The spark can be a fire still,

Burning brighter than, the light of day—

The soul is frenzied but when, the heart

will rest, the legs will find their way.

The spark can be a fire still,

The spark will be a fire still...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(16/1/2012)

i live on Your wall

2012-01-15T01:32:00.000-08:00

i live on

Your wall,

a hanging man

in the middle

of a tunnel eye,

a face, fragmented,

black to the core.

i live on Your wall,

a dying fish, or a

burst of colour

that the centre

cannot hold.

They live on

my wall, a

stream of photographs

on my sea of faces.

i live on my

wall, a peeping

man staring at me

when i sleep.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (15/1/2012)

To A Sick Brother

2012-01-08T23:16:00.000-08:00

Skin and bone,

my flesh my own.

To you these words,

in sorrow this ode,

This tryst, betwixt

my brother, a genetic code.

Pills,thrills and

desires that kill.

Time, cruel law,

looking not seeing,

the darkness we've

let into the synapses

of our being.

Tears will dry, go

up in smoke...like

cigarettes that

do words choke.

Death will pay the

debt that's owed.

This tragedy my brother,

of our genetic code.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (9/1/2012)

2-4 (somewhere in R.K Puram)

2011-10-24T16:38:00.000-07:00

Pavement cries

under foot, corridors

full of nothing—just

dark whispers ‘tween

one-eyed streetlights

and the bleeding, blinking

eyes of the day...

cannibal eyes and

rabid jaws...

Split open, gutted

from throat to maw—

entrails that even

barbed-wire cannot

contain.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (25/10/2011)

Clock time and other stories

2011-10-17T22:08:00.000-07:00

Pages are

like city streets,

the coiled spring

energy of children's

feet—

with love, murder,

business we

populate, the pavements

parched even rain can’t

satiate—

Pages—like the torn,

dripping rubber of love,

absolution is only time,

taken away from above.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (18/10/2011)

Mask

2011-10-15T22:06:00.000-07:00

Mother, my brother

Another another,

Skin of my father,

Kill my other...kill, kill.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (16/10/2011)

image

2011-10-07T06:28:00.000-07:00

my love is like

a coiled up spring

beating where the heart

was---a hollow, consuming

everything.

my love is like

a black mask, o'er

my face--- a dirge

where there was once

joyous space.

my love is but a photograph, plastic

lifeless memory---my love is but

a forgotten taste, the tongue cannot

feel, but closed eyes can see.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (7/10/2011)

Reminiscing on the wait

2011-09-30T09:34:00.000-07:00

I have had my

ten thousand days,

days of slithering, Jesus

with a gun...broken dove's

necks blotting out my eyes

and the sun...

nights of bottle

and ash, and the

whole ungodly

mash...games of chess

and undress, stealing

pennies of a dead man's eyes

phoney hellos and fake goodbyes...

Iv'e had my ten thousand days,

Iv'e taken it ten thousand ways...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (30/11/2011)

Skin

2011-07-17T02:07:00.000-07:00

The memory
of your touch...
a caress,
that is not.

Constant reminder,
of the skin, I
have no more.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (17/7/2011)

How it disappears and I spend the rest of my days looking for it...

2011-05-25T00:19:00.000-07:00

The curls on
your head,
a sweeping
memory before
my eyes, as if
in a dream...

I will not
let you be,
just another scar.

Gone...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(25/5/2011)

Sign

2011-04-26T21:51:00.000-07:00

Sound, a
whisper
is all
it takes,
to see...

Tomorrow,
a shadow
blinded
by light...
Today, is
all there is.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (27/4/2011)

Fish

2011-01-26T09:39:00.000-08:00

Black sea
dome the
sky...

Swimming
beneath it
in fathomless
waters,crustacean
hearts in
search of
virgin flames...

I dream of
gills and
fishnet salvation..

Anirban Kapil Baishya (26/1/11)

In memory of Daniel

2011-01-22T20:47:00.000-08:00

Swimming in my
black sea of
rememberance,
fathomless like
the depths of your
love,never manifest...

You surface,a wet
whispering ghost
that refuses
to be buried under
the six feet that
hides your decayed
body...I nailed your
coffin too that day.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(23/1/11)

Epiphany

2011-01-09T07:47:00.000-08:00

Like a revelation,
proverbial voice
of god, this shit
speaks as if
in a dream...

Wafting into
my ears,music
for my fears,
the sound of
madness, can be
heard in a whisper.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(9/1/11)

How the soul died in a medley of binaries

2011-01-06T15:00:00.000-08:00

Story of emptied

inboxes, promises

deleted, rule of

thumb overtakes

rule of heart

when speechless,

unplugged, I die

a digital death...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(7/1/11)

Tritone

2010-11-29T20:41:00.000-08:00

It comes again,

sweet malady,

the devil's note

wafting into my

ear, the sound

of suicide...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (30/11/2010)

Funereal

2010-11-23T15:03:00.000-08:00

Night has
become
my mo(u)rning,
coffee and
cigarettes,
my hearse...
I rehearse.

Just another
twist, just
one more twist...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(24/12/2010)

2010-09-06T17:38:00.000-07:00

Brow
******
The blade of
time bleeds
upon your brow,
'nother line etched
deep, you
wonder how...

Everything decays,
skin, bone and tooth,
a wrinkle is but,
the sad memory
of youth.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (7/9/2010)

2010-09-04T09:59:00.000-07:00

It reminds me
of war I,
told her...
Wonder how,
I could
what I,
had not lived.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (4/9/2010)

2010-08-28T22:24:00.000-07:00

Anatomy of an affair
******************
The prelude
is always
the most
beautiful...

The middle
cracks up,
revealing the
abyss that
ends it all.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (28/8/2010)

2010-08-27T01:47:00.000-07:00

Hole
*****

Recurring
a million times,
over and over
in an endless loop...
a dream of falling,
in and out
and out and out...
no concrete
can fill this hole,
no concrete can
make me whole.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (27/8/2010)

72

2010-07-17T19:38:00.000-07:00

The more
I sleep
on my
wretched bed
the more
I become
a stone...
grass creeps
a little yellow now,
where marrow
once filled
my bones...

I could
grow roots
in Tapti,72...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (18/7/2010)

2010-07-03T21:24:00.000-07:00

Caught
i na dre am,
an in fini te
lo op of wrong
tur ns...
Wal kin g
ti ghtro pe, o'er
a j um ble
of w o r d s, I
am a fe ste ron
the Sk i NoF
m y

DESIRES...
there is n OeND
t o TH is...

a NIR b An k A pIl bAi SH yA(3/7/2010)

2010-06-16T08:57:00.001-07:00

PORNO CREEP
***********
My leech,
my favourite
enemy of yesterday...
sucking me dry,
you started between
my thighs...
my filthy
bibleful of lies...

Hooked on to me
again (and i hooked,
on to to you...a
parasitic symbiosis,
recipe for misery)
my resistance is in
vain... filthy,
my semen does seep,
filthy, porno creep.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (16/7/2010)

2010-06-05T10:09:00.000-07:00

Vapour
********
In these fields
of sorrow, I
stand over the
grave I'd dug
for my body...
my skeleton
aches for
release...
the sweet
smell of
memories binds
me still...
something is
irrevocably lost...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (5/6/2010)

2010-06-04T09:34:00.001-07:00

Heard something,
not quite
itself...
the notes
felt like
ants on my
skin...none.
I am but, a
cold sun...

Babel tied,
my tongue
cannot speak,
the spirit
is weak...

The best poetry
is oft that is
the most misunderstood...
If I knew I would...
If only I could...

2010-06-04T09:33:00.000-07:00

Hell is cold
I'm growing old,
Adult sins
breaking my
child's shoulders.
The furnace smoulders,
Razing everything...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (23/5/2010)

Puke Story

2010-05-13T00:45:00.000-07:00

Puke...
at what
eye have become,
I die, by what
I see...Puke at
the sight of my
self... the heavy
impotence of
my conscience...
my conscience is
dead... I can only
puke my tears out...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (13/5/2010)

DYSFUNCTIONAL FAMILY

2010-02-13T23:17:00.000-08:00

We are
troubled children,
caught in a
lovers' quarrel
'tween heaven
and hell...

Anirban Kapiil Baishya(12/2/2010)

BREATH

2010-02-13T23:16:00.000-08:00

The fish
realises
the world
outside the sea
only at the
moment of
its death...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(6/2/2010)

2010-02-13T23:13:00.000-08:00

This is it,
the final word...
Never spoken
always unheard...
My lips are stiched
and yet I speak...
I pray not for
there's no soul
to keep.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(27/1/2010)

GLUT

2010-02-13T23:10:00.000-08:00

Disconnect by
my own will...
I need a fix
for present pain
and the ghosts
of past spaces...
So all consuming
in sickness,
I swallow...
To forget.

Anirban Kapil Baishya (18/1/2010)

2010-01-11T07:09:00.000-08:00

NOCTURNE
***********
The sun was
deception, the
warmth only
an illusion...
dusk came and
ate up the day...
I am a bastard
dog of the night...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (11/1/2010)

2010-01-04T03:09:00.000-08:00

I.D
**********
I am
half
the man
you know
me to be,
and two times
the animal
you will
never see...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (4/1/2010)

2009-12-24T09:31:00.000-08:00

I thought I
had given up
W R I T I N G
till is wrote
T H I S...

Emptiness always
twists the
heart like a
D A G G E R.

W O R D S
are like blood
oozing out of
F I N G E R T I P S...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (24/12/2009)

CHIAROSCURO

2009-09-28T05:04:00.000-07:00

Things lost
in transmission,
between the
thought and the
action, must be
read in the empty
vastness 'tween
the eye and I.

The spirit is
just, everything
the body
cannot be.

So searching,
these liminal
spaces, my
animal being,lives
forever 'tween the
shadow and the light.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(28/9/2009)

2009-09-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

Like a dead
telephone,
the distance
between me
and you
is deafening.

The more
we connect,
the more
we don't...
words repeated,
rituals of tongue
and finger, now
mean nothing.

Your smiley,
happy constantly.
What about you?

Anirban Kapil Baishya(25/9/2009)

2009-09-20T07:21:00.000-07:00

BLACK OUT(To Dead Danny)
***************************
Naked in my room,
the ghost of my
dead brother
visits me sometimes;
buzzing like a
mosquito near
my ear, begging
not to be forgotten...

Without you, darkened;
the circuitry of my world,
glows one bulb weaker...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(20/9/2009)

2009-09-07T23:44:00.000-07:00

CIRCLE
********
This is
the beginning,
This is the
end...
The journey
is complete,
No corners
to mend...
If I have died...
I'll live again...
Arrival's departure,
Just 360, 'tween
now and then...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(8/9/2009)

2009-09-07T07:01:00.000-07:00

ANUSTHESIA
****************
Eyes in my pocket,
I can't see you...
Ears in my hands,
I won't hear you...
Nose, in some
trashcan, I don't need
to smell you anymore...
All your opinions,
now a cock, shoved
up your hallowed butt...
At least I can be
myself now...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (7/9/2009)

UNDERGOD

2009-08-29T11:08:00.000-07:00

Understanding...
Eludes me,
often for I
stand over things...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(26/8/2009)

2009-08-17T11:42:00.000-07:00

THE WORK OF FART IN THE AGE OF MANIACAL REPRODUCTION
******************************************************************
Two minute Maggi,
no food for thought...
One minute Kit-Kat
break, your mind
begins to rot...

Kill the bloody farmers,
Colonel Sanders rules
your plate... Ecstasy's a
smiling pill, no Viagra
no mate...

Advertsing and six pack dreams,
carve an all consuming black hole...
But for all your blues, your
Adidas shoes, there's no
instant noodles for your soul...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(12/8/2009)

2009-08-17T08:20:00.000-07:00

GUTTER
*********
Cold and dark,
an abandoned hell...
negative space,
a gutter of
rejected dreams...
city shit, torn rubber
(torn love)... all rats' food
in Gomorrah's dank
underbelly...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(17/8/2009)

2009-06-30T11:03:00.000-07:00

ATROPHY
**********
Sleep,eyes
peeled open
by the razor
of dreams...
a tear at the
surface reveals,
desire after
desire...an
endless loop,
till the heart,
becomes a black
endless pit...
dank and dark
with despair....
dank and dark,
the withered body
is just a memento
of the spirit,
broken year after
endless year...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(30/6/2009)

2009-06-14T02:10:00.000-07:00

FOUR-LETTER AGENDA
***********************
Fuck,
fuck,fuck...
fuck organized
religion,
fuck organized
crime...
fuck the fucking
system...
fuck anything
that moves...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (14/6/2008)

2009-04-02T04:48:00.000-07:00

CUM AGAIN?
*************
My soul
is in rapture
my brother...
and once again,
I inhale the
smoke of my
passion...

Better climax
'fore the cigarette
fizzes out...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(2/4/2009)

2009-04-01T08:58:00.001-07:00

ON THIS DAY...
***************
Tomorrow,
hell may
await us
my friend...
But today
the mirror
stares at me
and I, at
the mirror...
and 'tis
not broken...

Tomorrow,
the fires may
consume me my
friend, and
you could
be but a
pillar of salt...
But today,I
have wings,
and you are
flesh and blood...

Tomorrow,we may
rot in coffins,
welcome food
for worms...
gnawing at us...
tomorrow,
might just be
round the corner...

But its
still not
today.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(1/4/2009)

2009-03-27T22:04:00.000-07:00

THE WAIT(PERPETUAL LACK OF MOTION)
**********************************
Ten thousand days
I have waited here,
watching, with
stone cold eyes...
blind eyes,
breathing with
stone numb
heart,torn apart...

Now, I cannot
remember,
for long
dismembered,
I cannot remember
my face...

Ten thousand times,
have I written,
of forgetting and
remembering...
the importance
of remembering
to forget,
and of forgetting
to remember...
now I cannot
remember at all...
I cannot remember
at all...

Ten thousand days more...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(27/03/2009)

2009-01-04T04:48:00.000-08:00

PREMONITION PRESENT
*************************
Another cold
winter has pressed
her cruel lips
on ours...
there is no
more love my friend,
no time
to write of love...

The maddening
conclusions of the
twisted algebra of fate,
begin to show
on the canvas of truth...
our truths...

Love is no more...
only war...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(4/1/2009)

2008-12-10T17:17:00.000-08:00

OF COCKS AND ROACHES
**************************
Seven in the morning,
(I havn't slept,
all night)...
limbs falling apart,
eyes, a
maddening red...
I fail to fall
into slumber...
each blink
of heavy eyelids,
a tick in the clock...
a constant reminder,
of the paranoiac
conversations 'tween
my cock
and my roaches...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(11/12/2008)

HUNGER

2008-07-31T03:48:00.001-07:00

My hunger,
insatiable,
like the fire
in your soul...
eats me up...
much like
the heat
beween your legs...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(27/7/2008)

? OR NOT KNOWING WHAT YOU WANT

2008-07-31T03:46:00.000-07:00

? is the
meaning?
? is 'I'?
? is ?
? is nothing,
nothing is?
Nothing is!

Anirban Kapil Baishya(25/5/2008)

ANTIRAMA

2008-07-31T03:42:00.000-07:00

sUbvErt...
pErveRT..
iTS tHE
DEnIAL OF
god WiTCh
makES me
wHaT i aM...
tHE den I aLL
oF cONtrolL...
tHe dENiAl of
cUnTroll!

aNirBAn kApiL bAIsHYA(2008/sixsixsix/14)

4:40 A.M

2008-07-31T03:37:00.000-07:00

4:40 A.M,
Lying beside
my ex-roomie
(I now live alone)...

Whiskey in
our bellies...
and I,
chasing sleep
(Ne'er coming
like an elusive lover...
yet to be kissed)...

My landlord's
water pump
hums
in the background...

Water drips,
counting the seconds
passing by...

My dick feels spent,
after five, of a day's orgasms..
And yet,
in my soul,
a hole so big...
where there
should have been you...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(19/4/2008)

MANNEQUIN

2008-07-31T03:32:00.000-07:00

Neon,
behind me...

I sit at
the iron steps,
that lead to
my friends'...
All asleep.

1 A.M and
I can't seem
to bring myself,
bring myself to sleep...

My recenly
shaved head glows,
an iridescent moon
(invisible to me).

Birds of thought,
chained down by
the gravity of your situation...

Somewhere
across the border,
that ties my hands
behind me...
a silent shout
pierces my night...

You...
You...
Everything to me...
Me...
A mannequin,
wishing it had wings...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(9/3/2008)

TO AN UNTIMELY DEATH

2008-03-08T00:12:00.000-08:00

Insects,

on the wall...

Moving,

like shifting writing,

making sentences

that mean nothing...

Fully clothed

(Three in the morning)...

Seated on my

seat of judgement

in the loo...

Against

the wet tile,

I finally crushed one

To an untimely death...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(6/3/2008)

ADAM'S APPLE

2007-10-22T00:03:00.000-07:00

Eve,
seduced
serpent
seduced
Eve...
Sunflowers
are blooming...
God,
is a
beautiful woman...
Serpent's egg
stuck in
my throat
(two,
in my groin)...
I cannot speak...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(21/10/2007)

WINTER

2007-10-13T01:43:00.000-07:00

Here,winter
smells of something
my friend...

Stripped naked
and cold,she
slept with me...
every night
last year...

I can smell
her lonely smell
once again,
everytime I
walk the street...

Smell her
in the dampness
of the earth...
Smell her in
the cold of my sweat...

Maybe...
Maybe she'll
fuck me again...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(11/10/2007)

VINCENT'S EAR

2007-10-10T07:15:00.000-07:00

Last year and
last to last...
Where could
the pain go?
Locked inside
in a memory...
Just the wounds
don't show...

And the year
before that
and all the time,
that I have
let go waste...
Its all coming
back,right at me...
the fruit's bitter in taste...

And everytime
I try to smile...
I'm held back
by a tear...
And all the years
that are a wound to me...
they hurt,like Vincent's ear...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(10/10/2007)

LEECH

2007-10-10T07:11:00.000-07:00

Childhood's leech...
I carry him,
in my body still...

He still
feeds on me...
Speaks to me
in some tongue,
only I can understand...

Reminding me
of the day,
I let him
into my body...
and let him
leave a stain...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(8/10/2007)

ROPE ENDS

2007-10-10T07:08:00.001-07:00

Endings...
like loose
ropes,untied...
Beginnings...
Constricting,
like a noose...
"Darkness
cannot...
be the ending...
I go,
in search of light." (*)

___
(*) From "Subarnarekha"

Anirban Kapil Baishya(7/10/2007)

NIGHT

2007-10-10T07:04:00.000-07:00

Blanket...
this night,
shroud enough
for me,to
walk in stealth...
I only have
myself to murder...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(6/10/2007)

AWAKENING

2007-10-10T07:02:00.000-07:00

LIfe's awakening...
Sharp ray
of light,throws
shadows of
bars at me...
Someday,glimmer
shall turn to shine
my friend...
Someday,freedom
shall be mine...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(5/10/2007)

HEAVEN AND HELL

2007-09-17T23:06:00.000-07:00

HOME
********
Home...a place of constant longing.
A dream of white cotton clouds
and sea-blue skies.
Sometimes I wish I had wings so I could fly.
But I'm chained.
Chained by desire.
Chained by ambition...
How I wish I could fly...
__________________
HELLO
*********
Hello...
This is
the kid in me
speaking.

It is restless,
The fountain of
all my maladies...

Wants too many things...
Doesn't like being left alone...

Where is the corner,
it seeks to curl up
and sleep?
Where is the body,
it craves to hold
for warmth?

Its not a safe
place for a kid...
Too many evil
intentions...
Too much rape
of innocence...

The kid can
only cry...
Sometime I wishI could throttle it...
Smother the painful cries
ringing in my ears...
Sometimes I
just wish...
I could kill...
___________
DISAPPEARING ACT
*************************
Promises...
So many
promises to keep...
Why?

Didn't have to
be ...
bleak like this...
Hopes and dreams...
all falling fast...
diappearing like
cigarette smoke...

Sometime I dream,
of a fast car...
racing...
hair blowing
in the wind...
Exhilaration!
Then a crash...
and I can't feel
myself anymore...

Here and now...
everyone seems
so close...
Friends...
lost in the folds
of time's deceitful robe...

All that remains...
are snapshots
in the memory...
fading photographs
in the consciousness...
everything disappears...
We are all Houdinis...
The pain,
will be mine too...
______________
SUICIDE NOTE
******************
Life,
is all about waiting...
Some wait for love,
Some wait for money and fame.
Some wait for children,
Some wait for luck...
Some wait
for freedom,
some for revenge...
And some just wait to die...
Iv'e stopped waiting...
_________
Anirban Kapil Baishya(18/9/2007)

Deliverance

2007-07-16T23:13:00.000-07:00

I am hollow,
Please fill me up;
I am thirsty,
I am a cup...

I overflow
with venom,
I need
the wine,
I tire of
the darkness,
I need
some shine...

I am thirsty,
I am a cup...
Please fill me up,
Please fill me up...

Anirban Kapil Baishya (17/7/2007)

EVOLUTION

2007-06-15T04:19:00.000-07:00

Finger...
leaving finger
(Michelangelesque)...
rule of thumb...
fire,writing,wheel...
ape to man..to ape...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(15/6/2007)

TO BE ONE

2007-06-15T04:16:00.000-07:00

Buried...
Buried
under skin...
Trapped,
under a forest of,
flesh and,white bone...
Where is the spirit?
So incomplete and,
halved beyond recognition...
It seeks
to be one...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(10/6/2007)

CHAIN

2007-06-15T04:15:00.000-07:00

One
leads to
the other...

Despair,
Desolation,
Contagion...

Your's is
mine too,
in a chain
of suicide...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(3/6/2007)

BORDERLINE

2007-06-15T04:09:00.000-07:00

I have been
on both sides
of the border...
No barbed wire
fencing,to keep
me away...
Its dark,both ways...
On one end,
no me...
On the other,
no you...
I pray,for
no man's land...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(3/6/2007)

BOTTLES BREAK

2007-06-15T04:04:00.000-07:00

Stuffed up,
bottles break...
All of its
bitter contents
spilled on the floor,
burning your feet...
Bottles will break...
One,for every
year that
you hurt me...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(2/6/2007)

SMOKE FACES

2007-06-01T07:28:00.000-07:00

One last
cigarette...

The smoke
reminds me,
of the countless
we've shared...

Of your lips...
and how I
was jealous
back then...
Will I have to
go back to
being jealous
again?

One last
cigarette...
To help me through
sleepless nights,
and countless days of
sleepwalking...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(1/6/2007)

OUT OF BODY

2007-05-31T06:28:00.000-07:00

Listless,
Hopeless...
I want to
get away...
get away
from these
walls,with
voices
hammering...
hammering on them,
till my
memories
escape me...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(31/5/2007)

PRAYER(I FOR AN I)

2007-05-30T08:59:00.000-07:00

Summon my
anger...
and give me
back,
the wings
I had so
deliciously
cut off...
Give me
the strength
to rip apart,
rip apart
those who
spite me...
spite us...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(29/5/2007)

STRAY(Dog to dog)

2007-05-30T08:55:00.000-07:00

Contact
with a stray
today...

Mongrel,bites,
nonetheless,
whining for
a little love...

As I stroked
his matted fur,
I felt like I,
was stroking
myself...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(28/5/2007)

WANTING

2007-05-25T06:43:00.000-07:00

Wanting...
An urge
of the spirit
spelt in flesh...
Denial,is the
manner,of
bad literature...
Wanting I,fall
like a bird,
that's lost flight...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(25/5/2007)

BELLS

2007-05-23T06:32:00.000-07:00

Bells...
bells toll,
toll so chaotic,
chaotic in my head...

Signaling an
impending doom...
the devil's rhapsody,
raping mylife...

Weakness,brings
me to my knees...
I don't know
how to save...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(23/5/2007)

ABSOLUTION

2007-05-23T06:28:00.000-07:00

Nesting...
Bird,with
folded wings...
Life inside a
shell,in need
of warmth...
waiting to hatch...
absolute love...
absolution...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(23/5/2007)

RANDOM NOTES ON SELF DESTRUCTION

2007-05-22T06:43:00.000-07:00

RELEASE
*********
Walking in a
daydream today...
some unknown motorist,
elusive angel on wheels,
crushed my body,
and released me,
from contamination...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(18/5/2007)
_________________
CAUSE OF DEATH
******************
Standard procedure...

Autopsy...
split in
the head,
stitch me up...
dump me
in a box,
nail the lid...

Raped,shredded,
disposed...
cause of death,
life...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(19/5/2007)
____________
diSgUSt(me)
************
See,
how slow
and painful
comes salvation...
Like that
stubborn drop
of water
that won't
hit the ground...
Like the noose
around my neck
that won't
let me breathe,
won't release
me either...
Like the tiger
that's ripped
my chest open,
but,won't
eat my heart...
So like life's
bastard son,
I crawl on
without pride...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(19/5/2007)
_______________
NIGHTMARE
*************
I promised
I'd kiss you,
in a dream...
All I dreamt of,
was you
walking away,
and a slit
in my wrist...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(21/5/2007)
_________________
NIcOtiNe
*********
Milady Nicotine...
Kisses my lips,
Caresses my lungs...
In my darkest hour,
my only friend...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(21/5/2007)
______________
CIGARETTE
************
Can you see?
See the cigarette...
burning away,
so slow,sadistic...
it has to end
somewhere...
"it's better to burn out
than to fade away"...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(20/5/2007)
_________________
SUICIDE NOTE
***************
Dark room...
Lonely,bleak...
Solitary shadow
for a friend...
Not even
love talk...
Smoke for food,
it rises up in
vicious blue clouds,
just like the ashes,
ashes of my life...
I'm guilty,and
hammer and
knife in hand,
I punish...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(10/5/2007)

YEARNING

2007-05-16T21:11:00.000-07:00

Love's ache
burns in
my loins...
Drowned
in the fire,
I yearn
for you...
It burns
your name into
my flesh...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(16/5/2007)

A BUTTERFLY'S PRAYER

2007-05-16T21:09:00.000-07:00

Thorns
will not
stop me
from kissing
my flower...
Soft,its petals,
sweet its nectar...
What the fuck
do I care,
if I die of
a thorn prick,
as long as I
get to love
my only flower...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(16/5/2007)

nONsEnsE

2007-05-16T21:06:00.000-07:00

Death...
What do I
know about death?
I haven't been in
a coffin,buried
in the breast
of the earth...
Nor on
a pile of
dry wood,
left to change
to some other form of matter...
But I still
sleep in vain,
wake up insane,thinking
about death...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(15/5/2007)

ARROW

2007-05-16T21:02:00.000-07:00

In the forge
that is me,
I take my
weakness,
and make it
my weapon...
Tip the arrow,
with the steel
of my hatred...
String it on
the tense bow
of my body,
shoot without
direction,and
refuse to break...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(14/5/2007)

THE LAST WOUND

2007-05-14T06:53:00.000-07:00

The
last wound
has not
healed yet...
the flesh
is still pink
under the
freshly fallen
brown scab...
I can
already feel
the next one,
malignant,
scheming,
creeping up
my flesh,
like a
spider spinning
its web of
still to be inflicted
sorrows...
Withering flowers mean
writhing butterflies...
There are
no last wounds...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(14/5/2007)

BULLET(Deathwish)

2007-05-14T06:48:00.000-07:00

Time,
I can't
kill time...
wish I
could kill...
kill everything
else...

All the shit
piled up into
thick walls
between us...
wish I could
break that too...

Wish I could be...
be a bullet,
and lay everything
to rest...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(14/5/2007)

URBAN(E)

2007-05-14T06:45:00.000-07:00

Rickety bus...
People,some
indifferent,
some friendly...
Boarding,
deboarding...
Tickets,change,
urban rituals...
No one
ever stays...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(14/5/2007)

uNdResSeD

2007-05-14T06:40:00.000-07:00

Undressed,
naked
in front of
a broken mirror...
I see
my self...
Blinded,I
finally see...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(13/5/2007)

BITTERFLY

2007-05-13T06:58:00.000-07:00

Spent
a lifetime
in a cocoon,
coffin if you will,
translucent hell
of a deathly pallor...

Second lifetime,
a bittersweet hell...
thirst and broken
butterfly's wings...

Please let me
have my flowers...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(13/5/2007)

LAZARUS

2007-05-13T06:54:00.000-07:00

In this ghetto,
road devoid
of good samaritans,,
two half dead souls,
heal each other
and ressurect
like Lazarus
in his tomb...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(11/5/2007)

ECHO

2007-05-11T08:48:00.000-07:00

Dark room,
empty echoes...
Not even
a clock ticks...
Just the
reflected laughter
of some
bastard lizard,
mocking my
loneliness,
as I lie naked,
ripped open,
staring at
the still eyes
of the ceiling...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(10/5/2007)

O.C.D

2007-05-06T07:06:00.000-07:00

Obscure,
is obssession...
Desire,
is death...
Lustful,
is love...
Obssessive,
Compulsive,
this order...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(5/5/2007)

TALE OF A WITHERING

2007-05-03T07:15:00.000-07:00

Valleys green,
wither to
deserts...
sunshine
grey'd out by
a cloud of
despair...
This barrenness
does impair...

Only the
distances remain
steadfast,
like a chasm...
burnt bridges
between two
souls...
Stars turn to
blackholes...

I scream hoarse
for salvation...
It comes steady,swift,
but only on
the black,veiled
chariot of death...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(3/5/2007)

FLY

2007-05-03T06:55:00.000-07:00

I...
I am
the feeling
that died
stillborn
in my heart
aeons ago...

I am the
lamp that
deserted me
in the storm...

I...
I am also
the dirt that
gets under your
fingernails,
everytime you
touch me...

I am the fly
that buzzes
in your ear,
and lays eggs
in your wounds...

I am all that,
I am more,
I am the Beast,
Babylon's whore...

I am dirty
as a fly,
But 'tis no lie...
I...
I love you...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(2/5/2007)

???

2007-05-01T06:22:00.000-07:00

Art is
always abstract;
a figure, and so
a colour too...

Is not a line
merely an illusion?
And a colour
an unspoken word?

Clay in the hands,
trying to play God...
dabbling in
flawed creation...
a spineless simulacrum of 'being'...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(1/5/2007)

I

2007-04-30T06:43:00.000-07:00

I am
my own Jesus,
crucified(twisted corpse)...

I'm my Judas,
betraying,
by my own
hands,dying...

I'm my Lazarus,
failed,
unrisen...

I'm the Lucifer
of my own fall...
Father,won't you call?

Salvation denied.

Anirban Kapil Baishya(29/4/2007)

TO YOU

2007-04-30T06:35:00.000-07:00

My love
is black...
it is filthy,
holds me back...
My love is
a monster,
for all you know,
torn from being
caught,in the
undertow...
My love is
tortured,my love
is black...
But it is still
love,please
love me back...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(29/4/2007)

RUMINATING ON A SHOE

2007-04-29T06:41:00.000-07:00

My shoe,
like the rest of me,
is in tatters...
and the sole
is worn and weathered...
I will have it
fixed today...
but God knows
there's no cobbler
for my soul...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(29/4/2007)

WASTING

2007-04-28T06:25:00.000-07:00

I
am a waste...
waste of
flesh,
wasted blood...
waste of time,
wasting love...
if you want,
to know
the secrets of
the waste,
just look at me...

Anirban Kapil Baishya(28/4/2007)